(Spoiler: The kerb won.)
This week, we met Phil.
Phil is confident.
Phil is efficient.
Phil doesn’t do queues. 😎
So, rather than wait in line at his usual hand car wash, Phil decided to try the fancy new drive thru one down the road. The kind with the flashing lights, spinning foam arms, and dramatic music like you’re entering a disco tunnel. 🎶🌀
Except Phil didn’t quite line up with the wheel guide.
He was “a bit to the right,” in his words.
What happened next?
🎯 His alloy clipped the kerb.
🔁 His tyre rubbed the guide rail.
💥 And then… CRUNCH. His front bumper snagged the low wall on the entry.
The entire side of his car scraped along the edge like a cheese grater meeting a block of cheddar. 🧀
But here’s the best part: he still went through.
Foam. Water. Rainbow wax. The works. 🌈🧽
“Figured I may as well finish it,” he said, while we tried very hard not to laugh.
By the time he arrived at Bodymatters, his car was sparkling clean… but looked like it had done a lap of Silverstone with the side door open. 🏁
So, we got to work:
✅ Assessed the bumper and side panel (definitely not buff-out material)
✅ Arranged a courtesy car (with sensors and a wide-angle camera)
✅ Got it booked in through insurance — saving him £400 on the excess
✅ And gave Phil a new rule: no more washing the car unsupervised 😅
His final words?
“Well, at least it’s clean…”
